Friday, April 26, 2013

Twins, Twwins, Twwwins from Confessions....of a faithful woman

Twins
In the depth of her cave he was confined, tied to the floor. He was screaming for help until he could hear her footsteps. A deathly fear took over his body as she approached. Another set of footsteps? He was puzzled. She was not alone. The sisters slowly approached. “Uumm” Growling, “He is sweet.” The younger said: “Yes, he is unique.” Was he seeing double; it could not possibly be two vicious-beautiful creatures. Their tails moved in a serpentine fashion. “Shall we, Sister?” “We SHALL,” the interchange was civil but savage. Slowly they got down on all fours and let their animal nature assume control, bounding towards him and pouncing upon him….

Twwins (There was a misprint in the “table of contents”
…The younger left and returned instantly with herbs and animals. She drained the blood from the animals and combined it with the herbs. She nursed her sister, neglecting her own wounds. She too had sustained considerable damage. He watched intently learning all he could and fed upon the remains. After seven full days of prayers and rituals the eldest was almost healed. Not wanting to trouble her sister she fled to the woods and tried to nurse herself back to health…

Twwwins
She looked at him expressionless. “An eternal life sharing our sister is a cruel torture that plagues us.”
“You always speak in plural, why?”
“We exist together so there is no “one””
“Are you all twins?”
 “We are one.”
“How did you all come into being, were you born together?”
“Born? We existed simultaneously.”
“Yes, but how.”
“There was a desire from the universe to bring balance to make things straight. To finish the old and convey the new.”
“You can have a child?”
“We can reproduce yes, by blood, energy or bring forth life from our body. Where there were two there are now three.”
The conversation ended there….


This is one of the few stories which will be in each book of the series because there is so much to share about each of the characters.  With the title of the stories I didn’t want to change the name or use “part 1, 2, 3...” I wanted to keep the flow and continuity of the story.  However since each part of the story was a very distinct and significant aspect of the evolution of their relationships I chose to separate them. “Twins” is what happens after the younger brother was subdued by her (them).  Exploring The Twins is going to take more than one post but let’s start with the “sisters”: Sa and Ba…

When I began writing this story it was from the perspective of the man whom they had captured (There is an entire back story as to how he ended up in their cave which will be in the next book); it was his experience first discovering her which turned out to be them. As I wrote from his perspective I began to understand “The twins” more.  I had to immerse myself in their perspective in order to explain what it was like for him.  In doing that I conjured them up (pun intended) and was able to tap into more about them causing them to come to life on the pages.

Sa and Ba are immortal like all spirits yet they have existed for centuries in this particular physical shape-shifting form.  They are so intricately connected that they feel through each other.

The stories show the evolution of the “sisters” from being essentially one to becoming more individualistic and unique.  These stories are written from the perspective of the “younger sister” and are more a fish bowl view of the “older sister”.  The “older sister” is only mentioned as she relates to the “younger”. “Older and younger” are relative because they are actually the same soul, energy, being and entity in separate bodies.  Their names are also used interchangeably in the book based on their dispositions at the time.  Sa and Ba; like Sekmet are huntresses, sirens, mystical, magical, feminine, fierce, passionate, hungry, ancient, they are where the concept of vampirism comes from yet like Sekmet they are driven by justice and The will of The Creator.  They are singular and plural, lovers, sisters, friends and partners. They are exactly the same and completely different. They are the contradictions and harmony that exist in each of us. They go from being more primal and raw (darkness) to slowly becoming more “humanized” (light).

Sa and Ba share one soul; without one the other is incomplete.  Since they share a soul they are both connected and disconnected in that they share all aspects and no aspects.  Because they are “sharing” there are times when they conflict and times they compromise.  The younger that is only “the younger” because she is the one learning to accept something new and resisting the natural evolution of herself and her “soul sharer” © ß I like that!!! (That may be the title in the next book). The older one on the other hand is “the older” because she is letting the process happen more fluidly and adapting to the changes with grace, love and understanding.  As all things must evolve and adapt to survive so too must they.  Accepting, creating, bringing others into their sphere was an inevitable part of their existence.  For centuries they had only know love through and for each other so bringing man into the equations was a tremulous course as reflected in the younger yet it was natural and necessary as reflected by the older.  This is the process each of us goes through as we reach our higher evolutions… resistance and acceptance. 

Sa and Ba discover their reflections in the brothers and they expand themselves to include their masculine compliments. You must remember it was the younger of the two that initially stopped the brother from being killed and nursed him back to health that showed her acceptance of the change even before her older sister.  The twins are not only physical beings but they are concepts that exist in The Universe and as such their transformation signals a change in the Universe as well.   In future books they will have to rediscover who they were originally and learn how to manifest who they were before in their new surroundings (same for the brothers).

Friday, April 19, 2013

"HOME" from Confessions...of a faithful woman

Home was the first piece I consciously wrote for the “Confessions...”  (This did not have a name at the time) back in 2008 I say consciously because before then I was writing what came to me without thinking of creating a book.  It was called “Saying Goodbye” and was a short conversation between the dada (sister) and Hodari; the main characters in “Home”.  She and Hodari had been best friends for years and he was married to another woman.  Throughout their relationship they were intimate on and off.  She respected his wife however the wife did not know about their physical intimacy.  She was not sleeping with any other men he fulfilled all she desired in that department.  They had been close friends most of their lives and although they were not “married” by societal standards their bond was greater than most others they had.  He loved his wife and wanted that lifestyle with her (his wife) and the main character respected and cared for him, his wife and their marriage. 
*****Please note that not everyone views marriage from the same perspective it is only considered immoral or a sin by religious context for someone to be with someone “outside” of their marriage.  Many Afrikan societies have systems and practices in place that allow for such unions without any issues.  Those unions are not considered “open or polygamous” as we view it today.  Those unions were like any other and have the support of the community.  The understanding is that a “marriage” is a bond between two or more people for mutual benefit for all parties involved.  People may marry to bring villages together or to do certain work (hunting, building, etc) or because they have destinies that are aligned.  People in traditional societies rarely married for “love” because they had love throughout the society and felt love for all their people.  Imagine living in a neighborhood that you know and love every person, you all gather food together, work together, play together etc. so “falling in love” would not be viewed the same because you already know each other intimately and have love for one another.  So in this case your choosing to be with just one of the many people you love in a certain capacity was special and a cause for great celebrations.  Weddings were such a big deal because everyone did not do it.  Many spent their lives surrounded by love without being married.  The marriages were not at all like many today, in fact many times the couple did not even live together (still thinking of a village).  The couple still played whatever role in society they did before they were married.  In addition AG (age grade) brothers or sisters: the grouping that went through their initiation together were considered one person and all responsible to keep the relationship healthy.  Now don’t get me wrong everyone wasn’t screwing everyone all willy nilly however the stigma and disdain that sex is often looked at today did not exist.  Sex was a spiritual act in which men and women had to be initiated to fully understand and participate in. (For more info about traditonal views on sex, marrigae, relationship and initiation checkout“The spirit of intimacy or Facing Mount Kenya”)*****
That is the perspective of the main character (and most characters in the book).  She loved Hodari but did not desire to be his wife by common societal standards.  She was offered a job in another city but wasn’t going to take it that is until she found out she was carrying his mtoto (child).  When she found out she was pregnant by him it changed everything for her and for their relationship in her mind.  She assumed his wife would not be accepting or understanding of the child or their relationship, she also knew that he would demand that his wife be accepting of the child and to be in the child’s life.  She thought that the most righteous thing to do was to leave and never come back.  In “Saying goodbye” she merely expressed to him that she was taking the job and that she loved him.
In my going back to the story over a year later I thought to myself: where are they now, what has happened, what will happen later and so on. 
It is called “Home” because when she and Hodari are together they are at peace and fit well in addition she is retuning to a life she had before she suddenly uprooted herself.  I gave them twins because twins are considered a blessing and are held in high esteem in many cultures all over the world this adds to the notion of their strong connection. 
In creating the character of Hodari I thought of many brothers who I know.  Often we get caught in the propaganda and rhetoric of society (as designed) and lose sight of how beautiful, loving, honest, dependable and wonderful black men are.  I wanted to show the coolness and awesomeness of black men in a very subtle and natural way.  Hodari Swahili for “stable, smart, skillful and earnest” reflects the intelligence, maturity, strength, compassion and principles that most black men have.  He lives by traditional Afrikan values, he balances the dada without being hyper masculine as black men are often portrayed and he takes care of his children as many black men do.  Hodari’s role is to effortlessly embody all the aspects of black men.
The narrator doesn’t have a name because…well… I wrote as if I was her and never thought to name “myself”.  She had good intentions however she allowed her emotions not her principles to guide her.  We often know/feel what is righteous but we factor “the norm” in to our decision and end up creating schisms for ourselves. From her view she Hodari and his wife were a family however she allowed her fear of not being accepted in that capacity by his wife to cause her to behave erratically. Her spirit told her to tell him and to work it out maturely but her emotions caused her to lie (omission of the truth is a lie) to him and move away from her “Home” for years.  When she was forced to return home because The Creator always allows us more than one opportunity to correct a situation she knew she would have to finally face the truth.  Her initial hostility towards him was really her being upset with herself for handling things the way she did.  We often project on to others who we feel about ourselves. Since the Universe is always working in our favor whether we are aware or not she ended up living with him and raising the twins as a family.    

Okay now that you have the background lets get to the story J

When I was first writing the book I had planned to put receipts for the meals they had but they did not seem to flow with the stories.  I also planned to put more about the shrine but it seemed to take away from the story as well but I do want to go a little deeper into that.
In the story she speaks several times about “shrines”.  A shrine is a place designated for a certain energy or reason, it helps to focus that energy and has items in it specific to that. Shrines can be for a group of people or very specific to a person.  They can simply be for salute or they can be for deeper rituals. In this story they a family shrine which was for all of them and they had personal shrines.  Taking someone to your personal shrine in like revealing your spirit or saying a pray to them.  It is allowing them into your soul, mind and spirit.  It is or can be more intimate and meaningful than any physical act.  In addition since shrines help to focus/heighten energy personal shrines also help to align you with your true self or raw energy.  For her and Hodari going to each other shrines was a very personal and spiritual intercourse.  They were essentially praying to each other and sharing their essences.  With that in mind going to each others spirits opened them up to spirit, the Creator, each other and the universe.  For those who have had “spiritual experiences” Im sure you understand fully.  For those who have not (or don’t recognize them yet) think of it like this; there are certain things each of us do to “get in the zone” whether we are speaking of getting ready in the morning, watching our favorite show, cooking, cleaning the house or reading the bible. When we do those things it puts us totally in that mode and we “zone out”.  This is when our spirit leads us and we stop thinking of the physicality of things and become “The Master” Shoonuff… (hahhahhahaha).  When she speaks of him or them “not fully being there” this is what she is speaking of.  They are in a heightened state of being because they opened themselves to the energy of each other.  The spiritual led to the physical allowing for a “divine kiss”.  Which is to me the moment were your souls touch leaving the physical aspects behind. 

Because this book was focused on the physical (touching, kissing, licking, sucking, stroking, and so forth) I dropped the focus on the spiritual and highlighted the sex but I did leave openings for those who wanted to travel beyond the physical. 

So now that you know all of this reread the story and tell me what you missed the first time that you can see more clearly now.

 

Thursday, April 11, 2013

"More than words" from Confessions... of a faithful woman


If for one brief moment while reading “Confessions of a faithful woman” you lose all sense of time and space and become surrounded and absorbed by the words I have done my job. As a writer it is my responsibility to capture you fully and allow you to see and feel the situation from the characters perspective while creating a scenario that you can connect to on a very personal level.  I am your tour guide on this journey of complete arousal directing you where to look, while letting you enjoy at your own pace.  Without losing in ecstasy I spark those deep ancient feelings and emotions that we often are forced to hide in this westernized society. In awakening those deeper aspects you will experience the symphony of words as they vibrate and stimulate your spirit.  “Confessions…” will push you past your previous limits of arousal while creating new sexual understandings, desires and possibilities.  

With all of this in mind I created the “More than words” portion which allows you to more deeply understand the spirit of the characters with the meaning of their names which provides a deeper more personal connection between reader and character. The section also translates Swahili terms, gives the history of some events and teaches about some of the items in the story. I have also added some bonus information (highlighted) not found in the book version based on conversations and questions since publishing the book

More than words….
  • Kemet Documented Ancient name for what is now know as Egypt. Kemet (KMT) means “Land of the Black or Black Land” speaking to the color of the people.  After several centuries of invasions, perimeter changes, war and reorganization the upper and lower lands were united to form Kemet more than 6200 Hundred years ago.  
  • Kemetic: Of or pertaining to the beliefs, practices and customs of this area
  • Asante: Thank you
  • Sana: Much, a lot,
  • Badiliwa: To be changed
  • All hallow eve: Commonly know or celebrated as Halloween. Pope Boniface IV
  • designated November 1 All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and therefore hallow (sacred). That made the day before October 31 Hallow eves. Even older celebrations date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in) which marked the end of summer and the harvest season.
  • Kenya and Tanzania Maasai tribes of have endured a long history of colonization by the British. The value of the natural resources in these areas became apparent from the very beginning, when the British perceived the pastoralist Maasai and other tribes to be incompatible with the wildlife that inhabited the area. With this separation of people and nature, national parks in Kenya were created without any consideration for the local communities…” Over the course of their existence, Maasai land has been taken away from them repeatedly, and after many broken promises of compensation and participation, the Maasai have started to fight for their land rights.  It is we Maasai who have preserved this priceless heritage in our land. We were sharing it with the wild animals long before the arrival of those who use game only as a means of making money. So please do not tell us that we must be pushed off our land for the financial convenience of commercial hunters and hotel-keepers. Nor tell us that we must live only by the rules and regulations of zoologists…If Uhuru (independence/Freedom) means anything at all, it means that we are to be treated like humans, not animals.” Edward ole Mbarnoti, a Maasai leader,
  • Njaa: famine; appetite; hunger (This speaks to the state of sexuality and central focus of Badiliwa)
  • Mshongo: passionate person (usually in a sexual sense); erotic person
  • Pinduli: revolutionary spark, something which produces a change of direction cause (of change)
  • Hudumu: wait on; serve; take care of
  • Kamau: Quiet warrior
  • Mwanke: Full grown woman
  • Kakawana: Strong, well built man
  • Afrikan: African: K is used to show Kujichagulia (Self determination) and because many traditional Afrikan languages do not contain a “C”.  Afrikan speaks to those things uniquely and collectively found in all Afrikan cultures.  Worldwide Afrikans have a distinct worldview and lifestyle that is collective, connective and holistic.  It is the most ancient and human way of being. 
  • Ashe: So be it. Used during prayers, libations or salutes to give power to the words spoken
  • Yebo: Yes
  • Baba: Father; uncle (from an Afrikan perspective there is little to no separation between the role of father or uncle)
  • Mama: Mother; aunt (from an Afrikan perspective there is little to no separation between the role of mother or aunt)
  • Hodari: Stable, smart, skillful, earnest
  • Habari? What’s the news? What’s up? (Greeting)
  • Nzuri or Njema: Responses to Habari Gani which mean Beautiful or Good respectively. From the Afrikan perspectives things always have a positive aspect.
  • La: No
  • Hodi? Hodi?: Literally means “Knock Knock” and is used as “ May I enter?”
  • Karibu: Welcome
  • Shrine: a place designated for a certain energy or reason. It helps to focus that energy
  • and has items in it specific to that. For example if I was trying to save money or increase my wealth I may set up a shrine of abundance and put things like coins, money or positive affirmations on it. I could meditate there or do prayers or offerings (food, water, liquor thing I want to give in order for my wishes (prayers) to work.
  • *GyeNyame "Except for God" Adrinkra Symbol of the Omnipotence and immortality of
  • God. *Adinkra Visual symbols, originally created by the Akan of Ghana and the Gyaman of Cote d'Ivoirein West Africa that represent concepts or original thoughts
  • Lewis Place: Located is St Louis MO is a three block street with a center parkway which is lined on both sides with beautiful homes built between 1890 and 1928. LP is defined by Martin Luther King Drive on the North, Delmar Boulevard on the South, Newstead Avenue on the East, and Walton on the West. It was placed on the National Register of Historic Landmarks on September 15, 1980. Find out more info and see pictures http://www.stlouiscitytalk.com/2010/06/lewis-place-neighborhood.html